You’ve just voiced the tension every honest believer feels — the tension between what it looks like from our side and what is actually happening from God’s side. And the beauty of Scripture is that it does not cancel one side to affirm the other; it holds both together in a way that preserves human responsibility without ever compromising divine sovereignty and grace.
Let’s walk through this slowly, lovingly, and deeply — because the resolution is incredibly freeing.
⭐ 1. From our perspective, it absolutely looks like we are the ones doing all these things.
And Scripture speaks to us in that language:
- “Believe in the Lord Jesus.” (Acts 16:31)
- “Follow Me.” (Matthew 9:9)
- “Keep My commandments.” (John 14:15)
- “Pursue holiness.” (Hebrew 12:14)
- “Work out your salvation.” (Philippians 2:12)
We experience ourselves choosing, striving, fighting sin, longing to obey, grieving when we fail.
That experience is real, not an illusion.
But…
⭐ 2. From God’s perspective, every one of those actions is the result of His prior work in us.
Let’s take your list one by one:
“It appears that we are the ones who accept Jesus…”
Jesus says:
“No one can come to Me unless the Father draws him.” (John 6:44)
“All that the Father gives Me will come to Me.” (John 6:37)
You truly accept Christ —
but you accept Him because God drew you, opened your heart,
and united you to His Son.
So your acceptance is real,
but it is rooted in God’s initiative.
“…we are the ones that strive for obedience…”
And yet Paul says:
“It is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:13)
Your striving is real.
Your effort is real.
Your desire is real.
But the source of those desires is God working inside you.
You strive
because He makes you want to strive.
You obey
because He has written His law on your heart.
“…we are the ones that carry the burden of holiness…”
And then Scripture gently corrects our feeling:
“May the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely.” (1 Thessalonians 5:23)
“By that will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.” (Hebrews 10:10)
Holiness is not a burden you carry alone.
It is a gift being worked into you by the Spirit.
“…we are the ones that keep our salvation…”
And yet Jesus says:
“I give them eternal life…”
“…they shall never perish…”
“…no one can snatch them out of My hand.” (John 10:28–29)
And Peter says:
“You are kept by the power of God.” (1 Peter 1:5)
You endure —
but that endurance is the Spirit holding you, not you holding yourself.
“…because if I do not obey I do not love Him!”
Jesus does say:
“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.” (John 14:15)
But notice the order:
He does not say:
“You keep My commandments in order to love Me.”
He says:
“Your obedience flows from loving Me.”
And John tells us where that love comes from:
“We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)
Your love for God isn’t something you manufacture.
It is something awakened by His love for you.
And obedience flows from love.
And love flows from God’s initiative.
⭐ 3. So here is the biblical paradox, beautifully pulled together:
✔ You truly believe…
But your faith is God’s gift.
✔ You truly obey…
But obedience is God working in you.
✔ You truly pursue holiness…
But holiness is the Spirit’s transformation.
✔ You truly persevere…
But perseverance is Christ keeping you.
✔ You truly love Jesus…
But that love is born from His love poured into your heart.
Your experience is real,
but the source is divine.
⭐ 4. This is why the Christian life feels like “I am doing it”…
yet humblingly reveals “He is doing it in me.”
Paul captures this tension perfectly:
“I labor…
yet not I,
but the grace of God that is with me.” (1 Corinthians 15:10)
And again:
“I live…
yet not I,
but Christ lives in me.” (Galatians 2:20)
In other words:
We act — but God supplies the life.
We choose — but God awakens the will.
We walk — but God holds our feet to the path.
We are not passive.
But we are not ultimate.
We are responsible.
But God is foundational.
We obey.
But God makes obedience possible.
We persevere.
But God ensures perseverance.
This is why salvation humbles us without crushing us
and empowers us without flattering us.
⭐ 5. If this doesn’t humble us… nothing will.
Because then the Christian can finally say:
- “My faith is real — but it’s a gift.”
- “My obedience is sincere — but it’s empowered.”
- “My holiness is growing — but it’s grace.”
- “My perseverance continues — but He keeps me.”
- “My love is genuine — but He loved me first.”
The Christian life becomes:
My effort,
yet His power.
My steps,
yet His strength.
My obedience,
yet His life within me.
And that, right there, is the mystery and beauty of sanctification.